Sharknado

Well, it’s July and you know what that means: Shark Week! And you know what Shark Week means: Cheesy Shark movies! I would have to say Sharknado has to be the king of cheesy shark movies. I found the movie fun and of course a no brainer type of movie. What better way to celebrate Shark Week than to watch Sharknado!

<img src="sharknado.jpg" alt="Sharknado.">

Photo Credit: The Asylum

Released: Jul 11, 2013

Runtime: 86 mins

Director: Anthony C. Ferrante

Writer: Thunder Levin

Actors: Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, John Heard

PLOT

When a hurricane hits Los Angeles, sharks attack via the flooding water and somehow, attack thru tornados filled with sharks.

MY THOUGHTS

First, I’m only counting the kills of people named or we see enough of (though there are plenty of deaths in the movie). There are 8 main kills. The only one that irritated me was Baz. He was sucked into the sharknado. He was Fin’s best friend so I should have known he wouldn’t have survived. The best kill would be a tie between douchebag Collin getting eaten by a shark and the teacher who gets crushed by the Hollywood sign. Collin is April’s current boyfriend. 

The acting is just above the typical cheesy shark movie. Notable is Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, and John Heard. Ian Ziering (known for all 6 Sharknado movies, Lavalantula, Zombie Tidal Wave, and of course, Beverly Hills 90210) plays Fin, a local bar owner who will help anyone in need, but is also dealing with his wife who is divorcing him. Tara Reid (known for Alone in the Dark, The Crow: Wicked Prayer, all 6 Sharknado movies, and Trailer Park Shark) plays April, Fin’s wife who is tired of dealing with his shit. And John Heard (known for Cat People, C.H.U.D., and The Seventh Sign) plays George, an older man who is always at Fin’s bar.

The movie starts with a ship that’s catching sharks to cut off their fins. A sleazy businessman is cutting a deal with the Captain of the ship to get even more fins. In the middle of the deal a hurricane starts up and they all are killed by the sharks. Karma literally bit them in the ass.

The storm soon hits the beach where Fin has a bar. Beach goers are attacked by a lot of sharks. The storm floods the beach town with water as well as sharks. Fin, Baz, George, and bar waitress Nova head inland to help Fin rescue his wife and kids. 

The group stops to help people along the freeway (even though nobody seems to believe them until the wave hits and the sharks start attacking). Unfortunately George gets caught up in a wave and eaten by the sharks when he helps a woman get her dog out of a car. 

They finally make it to April’s house but they don’t believe Fin that there are sharks attacking. Nova tells Collin, April’s boyfriend, that there’s a shark in the pool and he goes to the window to see. Of course sharks come through the window and he is killed. Fin, April, Nova, Baz, and Claudia (Fin and April’s daughter) get out of the house just in time before a wave hits the house, destroying it.

Now the group has to get to the airport to get Matt, Fin’s son. On the way they stop to help a bus load of students and their teacher. They get everyone onto the bridge where EMS helps them. That’s when three tornadoes appear with a lot of sharks in them. And the teacher gets crushed by the Hollywood sign. 

They get to the airport, Matt and other people are alive (but not for long). Our six (including Matt) devise a plan to fly a helicopter near the each of the tornadoes and throw a bomb into them. Supposedly this would disrupt the tornadoes, causing them to evaporate. 

While Nova and Matt make the three bombs (you would think they would make more but no) they bond over their scars. (Nova used to have a crush on Fin, but now she seems interested in Matt, who is closer to her own age.) Baz doesn’t think the bombs are big enough so he makes a bigger bomb, even slapping a happy face sticker on it.

Nova and Matt fly the helicopter up and throws two of the bombs to two of the tornadoes, evaporating them. Unfortunately the third tornado is bigger and it doesn’t work. Unfortunately, a shark hits the helicopter and Nova is thrown from the helicopter and into a flying shark.

Meanwhile, Baz deciding to drive the bomb into the bigger tornado, but while getting the vehicle ready he gets sucked into one of the tornadoes. The helicopter crashes, and Fin saves Matt and sends him to a nearby old folks home where April and Claudia are helping the elderly people. Fin then drives the vehicle towards the tornado and jumps out. The bomb goes off, evaporating the tornado, causing all of the sharks to fall down upon everyone.

One shark heads straight for Claudia. Fin jumps in the way with a chainsaw and is swallowed by the shark. Next we see Fin, using the chainsaw, cutting his way out of the shark. Pulling an unconscious Nova behind him. April and Claudia run to Fin, and Matt runs to Nova, resuscitating her.

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I wanted to take a quick break to let you know I found these great deals on Amazon for Sharknado merchandise. I’ve applied to Amazon’s affiliate program and if I can get three purchases I will be accepted into the program. This will be of tremendous help with starting my small business.

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Overall, for a cheesy shark movie, I found the movie entertaining enough. I wasn’t bored or distracted by bad acting or bad CGI. I don’t think anyone involved with this movie realized how successful this franchise would be (later on) in pop culture. If you’re into cheesy shark movies, then watch this. If you only want serious shark movies like Jaws, then pass on it.

And now for your Forever Final Girl Exclusive…Did you know?:

  • Shot in eighteen days.

  • Steve Guttenberg was offered the lead role of Fin Shepard, but turned it down. When the film became a cult hit, Guttenberg regretted it to the point that he accepted a role in Syfy's Lavalantula, a movie about giant fire-breathing tarantulas that attack Los Angeles.

  • Ian Ziering openly admitted in an interview that he disliked the script, but agreed to star in the film anyway for financial reasons. He was about to become a father for the second time, and needed to make a certain amount of money within the calendar year, in order to qualify for Screen Actors Guild health insurance.

  • The shark having its head blown off by having an oxygen tank shoved in its mouth and the tank exploding, is a reference to the final scene in Jaws

  • "Petunia" (a stuffed opossum which makes an appearance in each movie) can be seen in the hardware store as Baz assembles the propane tanks.

  • Director Anthony C. Ferrante has a cameo as a man in the water at the beach who gets eaten by a shark.

Have you seen the other Sharknado movies? Check out my other reviews here: Sharknado Franchise.

Let’s get into the rankings:


Kills/Blood/Gore: 3.5/5

Sex/Nudity: 0/5

Scare factor: 3/5

Enjoyment factor: 5/5

My Rank: 2.8/5

IMDB: 3.3/10

Rotten Tomatoes: critics:  7.4/10  audience:  3.3/10

Letterboxd: 1.7/5